Dating-where to start?

[moll]

Ok, I'm one of those people who is not extremely shy but at the same time the confidence isnt there to allow me to approach others (in a-hey i like you kinda way!). Firstly, i dont know where to start. I live in a small rural town where your social life consists of a nite down the pub-not my idea of romance by the way!! Often there is no attraction involved its just a-your single im single thing. Am i strange for needing that bit more? Do i have to use alcohol as a form of social confidence? Anyway i am interested in hearing if there is anyone out there in a similiar situation?

[johnjohn121 (deleted)]

i'm in the same situation too except im in a bigger city.
going to the bars sucks because i cant find the type of woman im looking for, and i really dont care for one night stands.
when i see an attractive lady, i get nervous and dont say anything.
imagine all the people i could of met if i wasnt so anxious.
hell, i could have been married by now!
but when you look at me, you would never know how anxious i am.
i've even been told that i come off stuck up.
however, i do know my faults, and hope to over come them.
i try to stay optomistic, and hope you do the same.
thank,
john

johnjohn121

[aries88 (deleted)]

I'm in the same boat here. I don't drink and I won't start - alcoholism runs in my family. I have gotten over a lot of my shyness, but there are not so many eligible woman as you get older.

[nothingmore (deleted)]

I understand what you mean about feeling like the bar scene is the only thing in town- but hopefully, it isn't! Getting out there and doing anything at all is a good start, whether it's walking the dog in the park, festivals, concerts, rv shows, whatever. Churches can be also be helpful- often times they'll have singles groups, dinners, or other organized things going on. Depending on your city, they may or may not have a calender online for upcoming events. Thinking about it, potlucks are really great for meeting people- just asking what they brought and whether or not it's homemade can be the ice breaker.

For me, approaching someone is the most challenging, but it all seems to start with some innocuous comment...
"Hey, haven't I seen you before?"
"How do you know so-an-so?"
"Having fun?" (that's an easy one)

To be honest, I think most people are in the same boat, they're wanting someone to talk to too! I agree with johnjohn there that staying positive is the best thing.

(these are things i just keep trying to remind myself)

It may be awkward at first, but once you find that spark, that chemistry with someone, it's all worth it.

[johnnysix9]

I totally agree with you, I mean I am a very shy person and I just don't agree with drinking all the time just to have fun. I mean there is totally so much other things one can do to have fun. I just don't know what to do, any advice?

-Johnny_

[cye (deleted)]

`I hate being shy.....if i like a guy or just interested in one i tense up and become a zombie...the only dates i ever get is the ones my friends hook me up with because i never take the leap and say "hey..wanna get some coffee"..instead i stand there like a dork and stare...and most likly creep u out...lol....oo and dates are worst....it seems my whole vocabulary and gramar skills have disapeared and all im stuck with saying is "ummmm, uh huh, sure"...then it just ends up being a boring and weird night..plzzz give me some advice..i need it!!!

[luckyfew_PREV (deleted)]

."... and become a zombie ..."
Will you marry me? lmao

[tokalasapa]

`I don't know if i fit into this catagory or not...I live in Las Vegas...Sin city capitol.....and I'm and extroverted introvert if that makes sense...I love going to clubs, and bars, and im basically a goth, so i dress in the fisnhnets, corsets, lots of eyeliner type of look...and i love the attention when it comes to the dance floor...but off the floor, if a guy talks to me...i kind of freak out....i regress and turn shy...i've always been that way, and it makes guys think i'm a tease, when the truth is simply that i have no idea what to say unless i'm writing it down on paper or on the computer.....I'm an intellectual, but i have a hard time talking one on one........heck maybe i do fit in here...

[solitude999]

.do u consider this a good thing???