How Do You Feel About Being Shy?

[exene (deleted)]

Hello, I am new here... and I would like to ask other members: how do you feel about being a shy individual? Does it really bother you/do you feel like you are not a whole person? Are you hard on yourself because you have a harder time with other people? Are you comfortable with your shyness, or do you feel like it's something you absolutely have to change? Here is my how I look at it: 1) Shyness is a personality trait that people are born with, 2) Shy people are great to get to know, if people can get to know them, 3) Shy people need to give themselves a break more and accept that they're not social butterflies. It isn't the end of the world, folks; let's give ourselves a little more credit for how we are!

[robinbobbin (deleted)]

Hi, I'm new as well...firstly, I must say reading your post makes me feel a bit better about it. Sometimes I enjoy being shy, 'cause I feel like I can sit on the outside and watch people, and also, it's a great excuse for avoiding boring people/discussions But sometimes, it's just a massive nuisance being so hard to meet people and make friends, and sometimes I get lonely...lately it's been bothering me a lot more, because I've outgrown my high school friends and am having trouble finding new ones..
And is being hard on yourself really a trait of shy people? 'Cause I just thought it was me :P

[boomershadow (deleted)]

`Being shy is part of who I am. Just because the first few discussions i ever had with my friends were quite awkward doesn't make them any less my friends now. In fact, it makes it more rewarding. And just because I'm not mr. talker doesn't make me a mean person, quite the opposite.

I wouldn't change it.

[ns1966]

I really resent the fact that many think there's something wrong with you, that you're a "loser" or you "have no life" if you're shy. It's rarely acknowledged that there has to be something basically decent and considerate about shy people: you wouldn't worry about what other people thought about you if you didn't care about them and their feelings.

[aries88 (deleted)]

I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be but I'm still a loser. Shy=loser is not a valid equation.

Nice to see people post here again.

[dallazkatt]

I've been shy/quiet all my life and I can't see myself changing much. I'm a lot different than I was in high school but I would never be a out and out extrovert simply because I don't like to be bothered much. I like my own company. If someone came along and inspired me to be less shy I probably would be. And besides, I really like shy people. I feel more comfortable around them.

[aries88 (deleted)]

Ah yes - high school. It;s where you learn it's best to be quiet, lest you draw attention to yourself and get beat up. I think that's the origin of all the invisiblility fantasies.

[dallazkatt]

I did things in high school that drew attention to me but I never took advantage of them and made friends. I think that's changing though. These days there are fewer and fewer shy kids. I at least hope so.

[aries88 (deleted)]

Then there's the time maching fantasy where you go back and change all the things you did in school. Know anyone who is working on one?

[spectra]

`Ahh yes, it would be nice to go back in time and change some things I di/didn't do in my high school years. I think thats about the time you get used to being shy and alone. These days I do like being by myself, but at times it can get painfully lonely.

[aries88 (deleted)]

I read that there's supposed to be a way to make a time machine by taking a hollow cylinder that's the mass of the Sun and rotating it at half the speed of light. Sounds easy! Let's build it!!!!

[ericisme]

spectra wrote: `Ahh yes, it would be nice to go back in time and change some things I di/didn't do in my high school years. I think thats about the time you get used to being shy and alone. These days I do like being by myself, but at times it can get painfully lonely.

Exactly, I live with my parents and siblings, but I feel so alone. I wanna actually move away from here so badly, but yet I don't wanna be alone forever.

[countryhappines (deleted)]

`Well being an introvert is a personality trait but when your shyness affects your daily life then it becomes a problem that must be dealt with. It's one thing to say that being shy is just another way for certain people to deal and it's entirely another to ignore the fact that some people who have been shy all of their lives develop serious mental issues when they become older. So in that respect shyness can be a burden.

I would so change it. I want to be more outgoing. I've lived with being shy all my life. I feel like I'm in an oubliette of my own life and I can't escape.

[grahamm (deleted)]

`in my experience, shyness is learned. abuse and bullying are very good at making someone want to avoid the world. honestly i hate being shy. i dont have too many friends and ive never had a girlfriend, i couldnt talk to this girl i had a crush on and she was so shy that anything i tried to get her attention failed. being shy is the most frustrating thing in the world and i hate myself for it.

[michaelalone]

`
hi, i've just joined this site. Unfortunately for me my shyness developed into Social Anxiety/Socialphobia and Dysthymia (mild long term depression), and this has affected my entire life. I've been on sickness benefits for years and rarely venture outside.

Sorry to put such a downer on things lol. Generally the only people i feel 'safe' around are other shy people. Extroverts make way too much noise!!