How Do You Feel About Being Shy?

[simon843]

I don't know its weird throughout elementary school I was a very extroverted kid but once I hit middle school and all my friends from elementary ether moved away or went to another school I entered middle school all by myself, I packed on a few pounds and closed myself off, I got picked on for being a short chubby Mexican kid so I never had a chance, I was so far gone I really started to see everyone as a different species than me and could hardly stand being in public, in highschool I lost alot of weight but the damage had been done and I wanted to be alone so to close myself off I put on a mean face (which to this day I still have) I can tell you that it worked I became truly alone, also to make it so I didnt get bullied and picked on again I joined a boxing gym (which was a huge step for me) just so I knew how to fight just in case but instead I fell in love with the discipline and hard work that thats all I wanted to do, once I got good and I knew I could do damage to someone it humbled me, I became basicly a pacifist and wanted nothing more than to only fight to protect (I knew then what the shaolin monks must have felt, they being so strong but lived a live of peace and solitude) I remember telling a kid I boxed and soon alot of people knew which caused more people to be scared of me and I didnt want that anymore so I spent the rest of my highschool years trying to change peoples opinion of me but that also helped me with my social anxiety because I started talking more to people and they realized I wasn't a bad guy, today im way more social than I have ever been in my life but I still have a long ways to go cause im not at all fixed yet.

So the reason for sharing my life story is to answer the question "how do you feel about being a shy individual?" it's a very lonely way to live, I never met a shy/anti-socal person who was mad at the world that wouldn't want to at least be a bit more social. From reading a ton of peoples experiences If you do want to help yourself you got to put in the work and get out there start small, I know its hard, seemingly impossible for some, you'll suffer some defeats but through the ashes you can rise above. Some people (myself included) look for some miracle drug (prescription or other) but drugs can only do so much your the only one that can become the change you want to be.

PS: sorry bought the long post I tend to ramble

[jennifer6 (deleted)]

I missed out on the normal high school experiences. Prom, dating, belonging to a group. I don't have any reason to go to the reunions. Nothing can be done about that now.

[shymeeee]

I seem to get shy-er with each passing year. For what it's worth, I am gay. If you met me on the job, talking and joking with people, it's easy to assume I'm an extrovert. In fact, I am a major introvert who puts on a deceiving show. For all these years, I've avoided social situations, done everything alone and tried to learn how to accept my solitary life. Have I adapted? To a degree, but I still like having someone to talk to once in a while.

[cowgirllee93 (deleted)]

I am new on here, as well, and I'm considered an introvert. I've been this way since I was born and haven't changed much since then. I personally think it does make life a little hard because most people that I've come across are the complete opposite and it's hard getting to know them and/or becoming friends with them. They usually want to party and go wild and I'd rather do something quieter and more laid-back.

I guess I'll find out how true this statement is when I start college next year

[boisegirl1991 (deleted)]

In my personal experience, it's not shy people who're hard on themselves. It's other people who hassle us. I had these two teachers in high school, one introverted, one extroverted. I remarked that the introvert was my favorite. Extrovert retorted that the introvert was "like a robot" and devoid of personality. I said the introvert had plenty of personality and was a complex person, but the extrovert just had to shut up and listen long enough for the introvert to get a word in edgewise. Extrovert totally taken aback, like he had never considered his overbearing personality was the primary communication barrier between, not just the two teachers, but also between him and every other introvert. For the record, both were awesome teachers and decent people. I'm just using them as a good example of what the introvert-extrovert dynamic is like.

I've always been introverted and I don't mind it until I get pushy people telling me I NEED to change and there MUST be something wrong with me. Why? Because I'm not some loudmouth constantly clamouring for attention, for validation?

*Obviously, not all extroverts are pushy people, and I'm not trying to say that they are.

[solublefish]

That's a good point. Similar in that vein, one of my best friends is an extrovert who talks constantly. I find it over-powering. When I try to interject points I am quickly side-stepped, then by the time I have the ground entirely I feel too depleted or have lost my train of thought. Sometimes it's nice to just sit back and relax and not have to jibber-jabber the entire time, or feel weird about not doing so for a bit.

Other than that we have a lot in common, although he tends to be more cynical yet less questioning of the system.

[dstille28 (deleted)]

I mainly wanted to post my experience on social anxiety but that thread is dead so I'll just add something and post it here instead. Plus since most threads seem to have years between posts it'd make sense to combine some of them anyways I think.

I suppose being shy isn't that bad if you can still manage to be happy. But if it gets in the way of having friends or a relationship that you want then I would consider it a problem.

I've always been a pretty quiet person who thinks a lot but it never bothered me until I noticed I was becoming more and more stuck in my head. I started looking at things differently and gradually became withdrawn from most of my friends. It progressed to the point where my thoughts would get in the way of conversation and it would be hard for me to think of anything to say.

I had what I consider my first full-blown panic attack about 3 years ago. I was working at a call center at the time and there was this girl who for some reason I started feeling very anxious around. I wasn't attracted to her but I felt she probably thought I was which added to the anxiety. I had never talked to her, would try to avoid her, and if we happened to be walking toward each other I could feel the fire building up in my face. I would hardly be able to walk, had to look down, my mind would start racing, and my day would be ruined. One day she got assigned to the seat in front of me and when she turned around and looked at me I completely lost it. I don't remember it too well cause I think my brain has tried to erase that memory, but I remember the extreme fear, red face, spinning thoughts, blurry vision, pounding heart, feeling of wanting to book it out of the building, inability to talk, the shocked look on her face and others around. I had to put my head down and I don't really remember much after that but I didn't feel right for days after and it's a horrible memory. To say the least it was embarrassing as hell lol. Luckily that was the worst one I've had, but I've had many other outbreaks since then with both males and females. So anyways, I understand how horrible panic attacks are and wish anyone that is reading this that has been in a similar situation the best of luck in holding onto your sanity and finding some sort of peace of mind.

[ganil (deleted)]

I am new of this site. I am shy. I am not know what type shyness i have?
I feel the experience that when I meet the people like my boss, girls, interview time i got shy. I feel nervousness in my faced i forgot to how l with them. I feel lot problem in my life, because of this shyness. I am not made Single Girlfriend. I have not found got positions my job. I am not grow myself.