Body Issue is right. Why I'm "shy"

[exoromantic (deleted)]

I posted this on another forum but it applies here too.

Well, I have nothing to lose by being honest because I have nothing to gain, and I'm only really here so I can exhaust the last option. No matter how many times I resign myself to loneliness, I always think about it. Constantly. Have never had much if any familial affection, and although people say i'm kind, interesting, and likeable, I can't let myself even be friends with people. So I guess I would like more honest opinions.... because I've only ever told a few people this, and am then unable to look at them anymore, let alone talk to them.

I'm female, but i have hirsutism. Or at least, I call it that. Without my glasses, i look fine (to my own vision of course!) and i couldnt grow a beard if i tried or anything like that. It's not really coarse but its dark, and its everywhere in varying degrees from only noticable close up, to... i HAVE to cover that up. People have said i'm "pretty" or "cute" in the past, and its only those people that i've really told, because i can't stand people thinking im something i'm not. I look at myself in the mirror in the evenings and think, what a waste.

The person i feel inside is trapped very deep inside. If only I was normal i'd be incredibly affectionate and physical if needs be. One person once said he would have S-- with me despite it but i didn't actually like him (nor believe him).

So... do you think it's remotely possible anyone could love me for WHO I am? I disgust myself, and all these female based adverts on TV now hurt so much i can't even look at them. I don't care about my weight or shape or anything, just what's on my body. I'm only human (just about) and it affects a small percentage of people, but I have so much love to give and would rather know sooner than later if it's doomed to die with me.

It's a big deal to me. I've looked into everything so please don't bring up all the removal methods :/

[sheevaa]

`I would think a lot of people could love you for who you are, if you can. I know it's hard. I'm a large woman, my flaws are just as visible as yours. I understand the unbearable loneliness, as well. I've beaten myself up so much over the years about it too.

At some point though, you have to live and love with what you have. Try to stop pining for what you don't.
I've run into a fair fair men that don't care about my size, or like it, even.
If it really bothers you, there are ways to correct it. Or at least contain it. Same for me. We choose not to, though.

Unfortunately, we have to understand there is a "standard" in western society to be perfect, and we aren't. We won't get as many takers as Ms. California Blonde...but, the ones that can love the physical as well as everything else, will be the men (or women) to cherish :)

[exoromantic (deleted)]

Hi Sheevaa, thank you for taking time out to reply to this.

That is what annoys me so much. I'm a firm believer in the unconventional, and there's little I hate more than conforming. All these TV adverts and imagery manipulated and not, all to make the majority of women feel bad about the slightest thing to buy products. The slightest bit of hair, the slightest bit of weight, too much this, not enough that. It angers me so much more than I've subjected myself to it.

I partly think it's down to my age, and that in time I will care less, but there's little I can do. I do what I can but it can't be solved or gotten rid of. The biggest challege is to accept oneself, nevermind anyone else.

You're right there, at least it would be easier to see who's genuine, if there is such thing. I've always felt slightly greatful not to be of of those people who are considered "hot" because what kind of a shallow life would that be.

It just hurts nevertheless.
After all, if i've never felt affection from anyone, why should I care? It's not like I've felt it to miss it, so it's best to just avoid it all instead.

Thanks again for replying, and I'm glad you've found men like that

Now how to accept myself... that's my challege :)

[sheevaa]

`Not at the moment, obviously, lol. I believe Good things will happen to those who aren't perfect, too:-D

I actually sometimes feel bad for the "hot" girls. They have the opposite problem we do. They're considered for their looks first, and nothing else. They may have a lot of guys banging down the door, but do any of them really look at the person behind the gorgeous face/body?
If the hottie is like, say, Paris Hilton, well that's a whole other level of sad in my books.

Now, if the woman is sexy, intelligent, funny and found a good man? Well, she's a b*tch, lol. She better be grateful for what she has! :P

[ganil (deleted)]

`Hi,
exoromantic and sheevaa, I am faced similar problem like this. I am male. I am very Shy. I am not able to express myself. I think that no one love me. but few people know me the like me. I am feel alone.I have no girlfriend. i think that no looking me. i am so depressed. I want make new girlfriend.But i have problem to expressed my self.Sometime i think why I am so shy.

I want to came up with this problem. I request to ypu that Please give me suggesation to came outof this problem.