mayzen
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![]() Posted: Post subject: Neediness |
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Is feeling needy bad? Since most of us are shy, we've all experienced some form of rejection. Enough rejection and we can tend to become needy when someone finally comes along who accepts for us for who we are. But when this occurs, and we feel that sense of neediness, what do we do? Some of us may feel guilty or try to hide our feelings, as we suspect that real love is not the same as an addiction to another person. Or perhaps we're afraid of being hurt, and so we cover up any sign of "weakness." But does this strategy ever work? It does if you measure success solely by what occurs on the outside, namely, if people start reacting more positively to you. But if every time you go to meet someone you have fight with those feelings of neediness in order to keep any sign of that desperation from showing up...are you not creating a massive amount of internal turmoil and conflict within yourself? Maybe you become so good at repressing your neediness that everybody loves you, and yet, deep down, you hate yourself, because you lack the courage to admit to others and yourself that a part of you still feels needy, and in the process you've created another split within your self, another fragment to avoid and keep locked away.
When neediness comes, don't fight the feeling for fear of what others may think. The outside world is not the measure of how well you're doing. How you think of yourself is far more important than what anyone else thinks. If you can accept your neediness, then you've begun the process of loving yourself. And if you spread this acceptance to all the corners of your being, even accepting that you cannot accept certain shadows, a new sense of confidence will gradually reveal itself. And this is the sturdiest confidence, because it is built on a foundation of self-acceptance and self-awareness, not transitory pick-up lines and ego aggrandizement. Just some ideas, not to be taken too seriously.
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