So tired of this..

[ironwalk (deleted)]

Why is it so hard?

forget trying to meet a girl, i can't even handle being around my own family. I just ran from my niece's graduation party.. too many people, most of them i know and love, others that i haven't seen in 10 years and have missed- didn't matter. all that did matter was that i had to get out of there.

What's it going to be like in another 20+ years? After all my older relations have passed on.. i haven't really made any solid relationships with my younger relatives, my nieces and nephews.

I'm going to be a lonely old man.

[fenman1]

`things dont have 2b that way.i know exactly how u feel,this thing has slowly destroyed my life over the past 15 yrs and im only 27,i`ve heard it all.."pull urself tohether,nobodys looking at u,just get out there and mix you`ll soon get over it..e.c.t. but they dont understand how it feels to b stood around people,family and friends and not be able to speak or look anyone in the eye because of the overwhelming anxiety,let alone the thought of standing talking 2 people u hardly know.and all u really want to do is go home and lock ur door,coz thats where u feel comfortable...its a B---- but it can get better if u want it bad enough.

[ironwalk (deleted)]

Thanks for the kind words..

It's an old story. it's not like i haven't been through this a thousand times. it's just that it seems the older i get it the less able to deal with it i am. Or rather i Really see now how much of my life has been wasted and it's just a devastating feeling.

I don't have much hope left and i'm scared of the future.

I really *hate* these "poor me" posts. It's why i don't usually mess around with the message board. Just needed to vent.

[empath (deleted)]

`I too have pushed all my family away from me , afraid to get close to anyone cause of the anxiety , running from the grocery store i worked in for 14 years and knew everyone, crying from being in the crowd that was too much for me.
most all my relatives are passed on and im alone and yes its scary , my social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder has forced me into disability cause i cant work or be around people very long- but through extensive therapy and classes for 10 years im alot better but it took alot of work but the shyness and anxieties are still there.
All the the therapists had to say was we did the best we could, its unknown if or when you will get over social anxiety or shyness it could be a year or take your whole life.

[bobby4]

ironwalk wrote: Why is it so hard?

forget trying to meet a girl, i can't even handle being around my own family. I just ran from my niece's graduation party.. too many people, most of them i know and love, others that i haven't seen in 10 years and have missed- didn't matter. all that did matter was that i had to get out of there.

What's it going to be like in another 20+ years? After all my older relations have passed on.. i haven't really made any solid relationships with my younger relatives, my nieces and nephews.

I'm going to be a lonely old man.

Snap i am the same and beginning to worry but i think i am a lonely old man. I am 52 years of age.

[naturegirlliz]

Social shyness can be crippling, especially once you start wondering if the folks around you can see how uncomfortable you are. What's worked for me is zeroing in on something that might be interesting (ie, at the grocery store: is that a vegetarian recipe magazine at the checkout counter? or hmm…I wonder what the ingredients are in this can of soup--maybe I can make it from scratch?). When out, it helps to only engage in activities that really and truly interest you and that you find fun or that really engage you mentally (ie, don't just go out to stand somewhere with a drink in your hand--that's asking for a bad night if you're the shy type, and just stupid anyway lol). Find groups that share some kind of geeky interest with you in common, and go to a few events. And when you're there, don't focus on what folks might think of you, or even if that one girl or guy might think you're staring--actually let yourself feel like a kid, and explore. Have fun. Enjoy the activity itself. Don't be afraid to approach folks and ask a few questions, or even gift someone with a tiny and sincere compliment if something's caught your eye, and maybe a smile along with the eye contact (instead of just staring). Before the night is over, you may have made some pretty cool friends without really trying. : )

[tasercat (deleted)]

`I'm completely crippled socially. I have no ability to interact with strangers, nor any desire to. I'd be happy just finding one woman that's similarly not social that can actually understand me. Unfortunately...that's not likely to happen.

[bobby4]

fenman1 wrote: `things dont have 2b that way.i know exactly how u feel,this thing has slowly destroyed my life over the past 15 yrs and im only 27,i`ve heard it all.."pull urself tohether,nobodys looking at u,just get out there and mix you`ll soon get over it..e.c.t. but they dont understand how it feels to b stood around people,family and friends and not be able to speak or look anyone in the eye because of the overwhelming anxiety,let alone the thought of standing talking 2 people u hardly know.and all u really want to do is go home and lock ur door,coz thats where u feel comfortable...its a B---- but it can get better if u want it bad enough.

I feel the same way and I am 55 and so lonely