Skinfix, 78

up here by the wall I have often observed that it is easy for me to be in a room full of people where I never have to speak with them, They are over there and I am over here. Either I am performing music, lost in my own world (and getting paid for it!), or at a head table where I perhaps commune with one person, then get up to a podium to speak to a sea of faces, none of whom I have to get close to or say anything other than what is on my manuscript. I have great difficlty in mixing with people I don't know. It takes some effort on my part. I have been like this ever since I can remember. In this state of mind, I can achieve wonderful things, but can, if I choose, avoid having to look somebody in the face close to them, and open my mouth and initiate a conversation, or even respond to one. This has made it difficult to form acquaintanceships or any other kind of co-operative interaction. But it is true that one can live like that only for so long, before feeling the pain of loneliness.